this day...

what exactly do i need to write here?
well, i was just disappointed this day.
why?
i was expecting something but i think i will not have it anymore.
sa may alam nun,
u myt say n ang kpal ng mukha ko.
pero kasi inasahan ko ung bgai n un.
mkpal n kun mkpal.
i was just disappointed.
kasi SHE made me believe of her promises.
wag mo kong sisisihin kpag di nko naniwala sayo.
yeah! ang kapal ng mukha ko.
wala akong magagawa.
i just want to write what i felt about it.
kaya nga journal eh.
sorry na lang kun ang kaps ng face ko para mgsbi ng gnyn.
kasi once n may prinomise ka
anything ha,
sana tinutupad.
kasi promise un eh.
hai!
parang may mental illness n ata aq.
urgh!
sori nlng ult.
kilala mo kun cno ka.
psensya na!

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: come talk to me

kada dei nmen ngyn. bt nwei..it ws jus lyk an ordinary dei..hmm..nu bng nngyre?
knnang adoration, ksbai nmen mgadoration un kaawai q n section..grr! actuali..ok nnman sken lht e..cla lng tong ngmmtaas p mxdo..wel..f dey dnt lyk n maaus to, col ako dun! dnt cre! wla nqng gngwa sknla so i dnt cre!

wel aftr disme..hir'd ds usual scenario at d fields.. wid d mats food and the walburgandas! uspang brk-up kmo? la lng..un kc ngng topc nmeng iba..kme nla doodet tska ni dj..un isa nkpgbrk dhl kylngn dw ng x nya ng tym s srile..un isa nmn ndi q alm kun bkt..at ako? ndi q dn alm kun bkt. wnt an answer? bshin nyo nlng un ltr nya skn..andun un xplntion ng lht..hai! taena! my naalala aq..pucha! ngppkbaba nko..mpride p rn xa..nwei..ngiinit ang ulo q..grr!




wait...
my alm aqng korni n knta..shre q s inyo..tgnan nyo kun mgnda..kyut lng xe..pro korni..haha!


Hinahanap Ng Puso (Ft. Hanna Romowac)
by Gloc 9


Pasensya na aking mahal
Di naman ako mag tatagal
Nais ko lamang marinig mo
Ang bawat nilalaman
Ng puso kong ito inaalay ko sayo
Dinggin mo sanang
Mga sinasabi ng awitin ko
Pilitin mang ibaling at sa iba'y isalin
Ay 'di malimot ang halimuyak na hatid ng hangin
Nang una kang makita hindi makapaniwala
Parang panaginip at langit aking nadarama...

Refrain:
Nais kong malaman mong ikaw ay aking iniibig
Sana ay dinggin mo ang tibok nitong dibdib
Nais kong malaman mong ikaw ang nasa panaginip
At magkalapit agwat ng ating daigdig

CHORUS:
Hinahanap ng puso ang pag ibig mo (Makinig ka sana sakin)
Di ko malilimutan ang pagmamahal at ligaya na dala mo (Laman ng aking damdamin)
At kung sakasakali na kaya mo pang ibalik (Sige na huwag ka nang mag alinlangan)
Ang dating pag tingin
Sa puso kong nananabik pa sa iyo

Ngunit ngayon alam ko na sadyang magkaiba
Ano nga naman ang 'di mo pwedeng makita sa kanya
Mayrong magarang kotse, wallet na doble doble
'Di tulad ko na 'di man lang makapanood ng sine
Sana'y malaman mo na mawala man ako
Ay may pag ibig na laging gumagabay sayo
'Di ka pababayaan
Laging aalagaan
Hanggang sa dulo ay tunay
ang aking naramdaman

Repeat Refrain
Repeat CHORUS(x2)




tgnan nyo lng..hehe..

Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: hinahanap ang puso

17:26[if the feeling is gone] 17:30[suntok sa buwan] 17:33[damned] 17:36[smile] 17:42[my boo]

what a song?! tama b nmng yn ang kntang tumpat? hai! nwei..yeah ryt! i got weak agn! y? i dunno tlga! i was jus sitted der in our plce wid mah kada..den suddnli, nptingin aq s plce kun asn xa..tpos un! prng nnghina n q..wirdo tlga!
grr! i dnt knw wts wrong wid me..smtyms p nga pg nkkta q xa, i fil lyk cryng..bgla nlng mluluha ang mata q! wirdo nq tlga! hai! cn smbdy xplain it to me? nung dsme nman..hir we go wid ds scene s srvce..mah srvcem8s mking asr.. "van! sais!" van, prtaining s srvce nya..nd sais..oh well! ang numero..haha! gets nyo n yn! grr! i dunno..pg naiiwn lng aq mg-isa..pg ntutulala aq..naiisip ko xa..shiyet! un lng un tyms n mppsenti aq..kya kun maaari nglilibang aq..i cnt xplain dt feeling wd in me tlga e! cn smbdy tel me? ndi ko nga alm e..kun pno ngng klsmeyt q xa nx yr? mlupit un! hehe! nwei..

nung guidnce..we hve ds sermon thingy..actuali ndi sermon..lesson dw..nwei..tta olette ws asking kun nu reaction nmen s nngyre..for me? i cn say n..ive learned a lot! as in a lot! na i cnt imgne myslf n mbbgyn ng snction dhil lng dun..muntik n rn aqng mgng ksali..oo! muntk n! ngyon q lng naicp "bute nlng..bute nlng" hai! sna mgng lesson n tlg smeng lht un..i hope thngs wil get evn btr..for the best! yeah! walburga p! xmpre kya yn..hehe..

my sshre aqng song..la lng..filing q knta q s srile q..wait lng..


Unpretty
by TLC


I wish i could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

pre chours:
My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

Chorus:

You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if you said so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out, who am I to
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too

Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm being stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)

pre chours:

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I believe I'm trippin'

Chorus

Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (oh)
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (oh)

Chorus x 2







dats the song..ndi q alm..yn lng nfifil q..eto nmn isa q png knta..pnigurdo! isng ptama skn..i min bgai s ctwsyon ngyn..


Mata
by Mojofly


kumusta na
nandyan ka pa ba
wala na yatang ibang magagawa
kundi tumawa

nandyan pa ba
mga ala-ala
ang tanging bagay na naiwan
sa 'ting dalawa

wag nang paikutin ang isa't isa
lahat ng bagay ay malinaw na
di na rin kailangan pagpilitan pa
di mo na kinakailangan pang magsalita

nakita ko ng lahat ito
pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
salamat na lamang sayo
ohhhhhhh

nakita ko ng lahat ito
pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
salamat na lamang sayo
ohhhhhhh

kumusta na
nandyan ka pa ba
wala na yatang ibang magagawa
kundi tumawa

nandyan pa ba
mga ala-ala
ang tanging bagay na naiwan
sa 'ting dalawa

wag nang paikutin ang isa't isa
lahat ng bagay ay malinaw na
di na rin kailangang ipagpilitan pa
di mo na kinakailangan pang magsalita

nakita ko ng lahat ito
pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
salamat na lamang sayo
ohhhhhhh

nakita ko ng lahat ito
pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
salamat na lamang sa'yo
ohhhhhhh

mata mo, mata mo, mata mo, mata mo...........


gnda noh? hai! wla lng..i nid to find mah assignmnt p..

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: mata-mojofly

it seems like it's been a long time since i've updated my journal. anyway, this week? oh, so depressing. so disappointing. so irritating. nakakatanga. nakakatulala. nakakalungkot. nakakapanghinayang. so unfair. so unjust. madaya. maemosyon. brutal. madugo. malala. malupit. nakakaawa. sayang. sana huwag...

watcha think? am i crazy for putting things like that?


no i'm not.
yn lht ng nrmdman ko s mga nngyre...
cguro naman alam n ng iba un.
parang ang unfair. unfair s mga taong involved n nhuli
at unfair dhil my mga involved n hndi nhuli.
prang ngyon ang hrap2 n gumwa ng kgaguhan.
prng un mga bgai n gngwa ko dte n illegal s skul e hndi ko n pwd gwen ult.
n prng pg my nkta aqng my gmgwa p rn ngyon, ang srap isumbong.
unfair n kc e. mga hndi p ndala. yeah ryt! my mga kilala p qng gmgwa
ng mga illegal n un ryt aftr d inspection p nga e.
ang srp mura2hin "taena mo! ms. j b gsto mo?" o kya nmn "pucha! di kpb ndala? gsto mong mdala?! ccmulan ko n!"...
msma n kun msma. tmaan n ang tmaan.

Current Mood: depressed

kinda weird right? dat nme ws just givn to me by mah clsm8, pau. JE? it's all because of mah perfume's scent whch smells lyk a jelly ace. some says it smells lyk a bubblegum, cherry or evn dat medicine called tempra. he3! FLIP? oh, i dunno. dag2 lang s nme. ndi q nga alm pno q nsma dun e. he3! pro otei lng. mron p ngang PRIflip, c grace un! priti flip dw. he3! another one is KYUflip and dat' pau. cute dw e! nex is SAflip whch is doodet. sabog dw xe! and d last one is TAflip. c erica nman un! dhil amoy taho xa sb nla pau. nwei..nshre q lng. he3! wla xeng mgwa nung mass ng morning kya knkulet q cla. nwei..ngklongtest kme s chem! woo! i ges mah clsm8s also hd a hrd tym wid dat. grbe! ang hrap xe..tsk3! minmlas nga nman. kme my dfense, un iba wla. kme my 2nd lt p, cla wla! o dbuh?! mlas nga tlga. hai! can't d anythng bout it. gnun eh! hmm..during our englsh clas nman der's dat dialogue thingy. my prtner nd i shud b d 2nd 1 kso un frst pair wid kat2 e s mondei nlng. bt nwei..i'm, thankful xe we're tpos n. wla ng aalalahnin.

hmm..what's wrong with me? andme ng ngssbing angtaray ko daw. isa n cna boipz, poht, ceo, lara s mga ngsbe nun. hmm..nu nmn kyang kintraray ko? sbe nla un mata ko dw kc kun mktingin e. hmm..but what can i do? natural n gnyn tlga kun mktngin yng mata ko. wel..sori nlng s mga nttignan ko ng gnun. i hope hndi nyo mamisintrprt. it's ntural. and i really can't help making my kilay n nktaas kht ngsslita lng. sori tlga s mga ntataasan ko ng kilai unconsciously. e pra nman s mga tntaasan ko tlga ng kilai, e sori nman. cnsdya ko n un! he3! jowk lng. pro kun alm nyo nmang my dhiln aq pra mgnun ko kyo, e dnt wonder anymore. mlai nyo natural lng dn! o tlgng my glit aq..pro hndi rn! nwei..big deal?! naah!

hai! rmember dat thng n sed my ssbhn dw xa. tsk3! sb ni boipz ayw dw aq kauspin e. fine! e di wag. alangan nmang plitin q dbuh. bt nwei..u knw wt, un fone n gmet q, whch is ky poht n kbrkda nya, e hhirmin nya.. i min she's d next one to use it aftr me. dat's what poht sed to me! xmpre eto nman aq nngasr p. i told poht "e di hndi ko muna ibbalik" he3! bad noh? e gmet q p kc e..hainq! asar-tal nga ko sknla knina e. mlkas xe mngalaska un mga un! nwei..ok lng..big deal? nah! hai! nung dsme nman tnnung aq ng kbrkda nya, c jecel kun bt dw b wla n kme. sb q wg nya skn itnung. e ayw dw sbhn ni pam! tsk3! bkt kya?! ayw b nyang mlman nila un gnwa nya? wid dat case..i min ung nngyre smen. tsk! ako n nga un talo tpos xa p tong ayw mkpg-usap. nwei..she'll get karma din! she ruined evrythng! EVERYTHING! dpn't get me wrong. i don't hate her. naiinis lng tlga q. nt bcoz she doesn't love me but because she LIED! d angel widin her turned into a devil. msma man un sbhn pro totoo. pro i stl hv no clue..mhal ko p nga buh?





==part of the song selfish==

..why do u push me away
all i want is to give you love
forever and ever and ever and ever

chorus:
u can call me selfish
but all i want is your love
you can call me hopeless (baby)
cause i'm hopelessly in love
you can call me unperfect
but who's perfect?
tell me what do i gotta do?
to prove that i'm the only one for you
so what's wrong with being selfish?

Current Mood: listless
Current Music: selfish- n'sync

this day is such a great day..dhil s wkas tpos n ang aming defense..yeah, i admit that the group can do it without me. e wala nga ata akong ncontribute e. hmm..i just answered some of the objectives and thats it! big help b un?! bt nwei..s wkas ntpos rn..lt nmn s chem tska dialogue s englsh ang pprblemhin. he3!

s music nman..tsk..sobrng boring..un tchr b nman xe nmen e..sbrng boring mgturo..i knw nkkbastos un gngwa nmen during her class. but it's her problem din. she doesn't eben know how to have some fun. hmm..but anyway..we're toking about a musical play for a class project i hink. hmm..alala q tuloi ng grde 6 dpt we'll hav that dn bt i don't bkt hndi ntuloi..hmm..syang! fairy p nman dpt aq nun..he3! alala q lng..waah! we don't hav trigo pla bkas!yahoo! he3! isng arw n wlng trigo..pro msya dn aq awyl ago kc pumsa q s lt..he3!

hainko! it's going to be the 6th of january tom. shit! isang bwan n sna..nwei..knina wen i was woking pra pmunta s hilda at sunduin ang kada ko, nslubong ko c pam. den she asked me kun glit aq sknya, ofcors i told her NO! den i wok away n..kc b nman noh, ndi b ppsok s utak nya n kgglitan xa..bt nwei..m nt mad at hr. naiinis lng aq s mga gnwa nya skn.kc evrsnce pla kht frnds lng kme, pngloloko lng nya q. hmm..pro dhil mpgptwad aq, ndi q nlng ppncnin un gnun. hai! pro s totoo lng..ewn q b..nlulungkot nlng aq bgla..pro ndi nko maiyak2. ndi n rn aq mkdtrmine tlga kun anu un nfifil q..eon..nd den nung lnch..nsalubong q un kada nyang c poht at boipz..eon..bt dw ndi ko kauspin c pam..sus! anu nmn ssbhen q db? sb nla my ssbhen dw sken c pam..hmm..nu nman kya un?! sna sbhen nya..nwei..ssbhen nya rn un..pglumpit xa ult..he3! as if....hai! ayw ko tlg s lht mga cnungaling e. tsk3! mga taong mpglro..dey r so mean..as in sobra! hai!at this very momnt suntok sa buwan p ang knta. hai! nnndya b cla?! my god..ndi q nga alm kun mhal q p rn xa or hndi n e..wtcha think?

Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: suntok sa buwan-session road

wla nnman aqng mgwa kya eto..update nlng ng journal..hmm..shud i wryt hir n hndi n kme?! tsk3! ang blis noh? wla man lng isng buwan..pro ok lng un..wla nman aqng mggwa e..pro naiinis nman aq sknya..bkt? kc sna nung cmula plang nging hnest xa..hndi un mtgal n ska lng mgssbe ng totoo..damn! pro i cnt do anythng kc nngyre n..hainq! ok lng tlg..atlst iv done my part..sna kc nkneg nlng aq..hainq!

eon..xmpre cmula x'mas hnggng nung 30 wla aq s bhai..i was busy wtching movies at the malls xe..nd guess what? i also went sa metro manila film fest awards night..whoo! grbe! dat nyt tlga e sbrng msya..he3! kso kht pla hndi k artista..mfifil m ung mrrmdmn nla..y? gnto xe un..xmpre u nid to be ayos pra presentable k tgnan..so eon..busy kme s haus s kaaaus ng srile..nd den wen we arrived there..un mga pipol sbrng nktngn s bwt car n dadaan waiting for their pboritong artista..e nung ba3 n kme..ndi q alm dun pla kme s hrap ng crowd ba3..s my entrnce n my red crpet p..my mga reporters..cameramen n mkkslubong mo..s loob nman..as in insyd ng theater..dadaan-daanan k ng mrming lights tska cameras..tsk! xprience ito..he3! i get to see d biggst stars..althou ndi ko cla trip..he3! nkokornihn lng aq..he3! pro dt nyt ws rily wnderful..aftr dat, kmaen n kme..xmpre wid dose stars agn..ang hrap kmaen khrap cla..prng klngn lge kng maaus kc db nkkhya nmn pg ngkgulo2 k..nwei..durng the awrding...tsk3! sbra tensyon! he3! nwei..nx yr ppnta ult aq dun..he3! i wish....

oow! 3 ngyon..anniv ng kada ko! he3! la lng...mhal q un mga ngyon..nd dats for sure..eon..wala nq mlgai e..he3!

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: the show - southborder

oh well...what's on my mind now? to update my journal? anyway...yesterday i was not at home...yeah right! you heard it right! i was with my mom and my brother. xmpre sa shangri-la kami ngpunta...we went there not to mingle around but to watch some movies...judge kasi ung mom ko sa mmffp so kailangan nya talagang pnoorin ung entries..i was able to watch a japanese movie tska un sigaw...those movies were really cool...ung japanese movie,ung my judy ann...it's about nung panahon ng hapon..basta..astig ng sobra...corny man para sa iba dhil local lang xa...e bsta mgnda un! i hope it will win...the other movie was SIGAW...hmm...i admit i was really shocked with the sound effects...hindi sya scary kung tutuusin pero nakakagulat xe...puro suspense...that movie naman has angel locsin...grbe! that girl? so priti tlga..sexy p! ha6! anyway...dapat nga manunuod ulit aq ngyon...mano po 3...happy together...tska...i forgot the other one...kaso, i have to stay here sa bahay to be with our new helper...

helper...tsk6! aalis na un luma nmang katulong...hu6! pero ok lang...yung bago naman, 2 yrs old palang...ewan ko lang ha...pro prang di ko xa feel...hindi ko alam kung makakasundo ko xa...well, tignan na lang nten...iba kasi to e...mahileg mgmall...mhileg s music...hmm...i know we're the same na mhileg sa music..pro...ewan ko! let's just see...

hainako! ung sais ko...tsk6...yeah right! 06 n nga...ha6! 2 linggo palang kame pero my naging problema na agad...but it's ok...wala namang bumbitw e...sabi nya...hndi daw nya ggwen un...ewan ko lng...sna nga...hai! pro may problma p rn e...my filings p xa dun sa isng gurl...ang mlupit p dun clsmeyt nya...di ba hndi naman pwedeng dlwa? or may be...pwede pero ms nangingibabaw ung isa...i dunno...pro thankful rin ako...kasi nging honest sya...ha6! hmm...may isa pang problema...skulm8 ko nga pero hndi ko naman nkksma...tsk6! pro ok lng...bka nman pg lagi ko ung ksma mgkswaan kme nun...hai! ewan! pero i miss her na..ha6! hainq! tatagal kya itong sais n toh? hope so...hai! mdme ngang ngttka kub bkt ngyon lng nging kme...e alm nilang mtgal n dw un bout dun...well, dat tym kc my mhal xa...ako din mron...pro ngyon...eto na...gnto na...too bad nga lang kasi bka umlis n xa s may...or pgkgradweyt...hai! bkit nman gnun? anyway...wala n ko msbe...he6! bsta kuntento nman aq ngyon...msaya...

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: holiday inn!

for this day..what should someone like me feel ba?!..i feel do depressed..well, di man halata..bat it's tru..i fil lyk i dnt dsrv to b a daughtr of my prents..i feel lyk im a failure..i feel dat i dont dserv to live..i feel yk dying now..i dunno..i knw i cnt kill myslf..but dat's wt i fil..i wnna die..and thnking p n my family..ol of dem..glet skn..u myt say it's mbabaw bt for me?..nah..it's not..it was rily d hrdest of ol..u knw y?..evn thou u hate dem mny tyms..u run away..u dnt love dem..ttnggpn kpa rn nla..pro s ngyon?!..i rily dunno wt's hppening..isa akong khihiyan s pamilyang toh..sounds corny ryt?..bt tru..sbrng hiyang-hiya ako s srile ko..kht n s skul..i dnt evn hv dt face n maihhrap s mga tao..yeah mkpal nga ang muka ko to mke frndz..mkpal dn ang muka ko pra mngawai..pro dip dwn dey cnt see..dr's smthng in pain..hai!..cguro ndi nyo ko maintindihan..ol i cn say is..i feel so lost..very lost..nd tke note..cards wud b given tomorrow p..hai!..ndi ko p nga nppkta un ptc letter ko..kc i dunno hw to show it!..i hv a family prblem..prblma s studies..financially rn..hai!..smtyms i thnk MXADO B TLGANG MBIGAT ANG KSLNAN KO PRA PRUSHAN AKO NG GNTO NI GOD?..ds myt b a common question..pro dude!..dats wt i ask ol d tym n..hai!..i feel so lost tlga..cnt find my way back to have my tru self bak....

enuf for dat drama thng..nwei..wyl my frnd megan..uhm..4th yr xa..bsta tga-isko dn..for dose hu do not knw..nwei..nung lunch knina..sbrng nktanga lng ako wyl my kada is so gulo..nwei..i ws thnking kun hw it fils lyk hving retreat der s kul..corny n tnung b?!..bsta..i hv dffrnt mining..prng i imgne myslf as a senior..prng ikw un superior of ol batches..kw un ATE kuno..bsta..u fil importnte db..nd den prng ngppkmture kna ng sbra..ul line up to get forms..ul tke tests in dffrnt skuls dn aftr dt..ul go to college n..or bgo mgretreat..anjan n un mnghihingi k ng palanca s mga frnds mo..wel nwei..naicp ko lng nman un e..hndi ko alm kun mgkkgnun p ko..nsira ko n kc studies ko e..hai..eon..i jus wish mktpos aq ng hayskul..s isko h!..ayoko s ibng skul kc..love ko n ang st scho kht nbubulok nko dun cmula prep hnggng ngyon..hai!..for sure if evr man mgcollege nko at grmdweyt s skul n un..il mis many thngs..hai..buhai nga nman....

Current Mood: frustrated

i just recieved my ptc letter yesterday..i feel so hopeless and depressed?!..why?..obvious b?!..i got failing grades in geom nnman..grr!..nd if i fail ds 3rd quartr..tsk..im going to hv a summer class wid dt sbjct..grbe!..i feel so down..rily down..i wnt to bring back d tym to chnge evrythng..sbrng filing ko ang babababa n ng tngin sken ng mga tao..pro dte..nt to b mybang..pro dey luk up to me nman..kc nga i got dat gud greyds..ofcors nung gradeskul p ko nun..pro xmpre..iba n un ngyon..nd den ds mornining..i ws rily irritated wid my classmate *not to mention d name*..pgkpsok n pgkpsok ko ng rum tnong b nman skn..NPKTA MO NB UN PTC MO S MAMI M?!..MGLET B?!..nd i answered her bak..BT ALM MO?!..PWEDE BNG WG MO N KO TNUNGIN MXADO K NMANG CHISMOSA..bt den aftr dat..i realyzd n i shud answer lyk ds pla..GSTO MO MLMAN KUN ANUNG FILING NG MY PTC?!..TRY MONG BMGSAK DUN MO MLMAN NG HNDI K NGTTNUNG..o db?!..ayoko lng kc ng mga chismosa e..sbra!..i was rily pissed off!!..yah i was ashame kc i mde bgsak..bt atlst i knw i hv an effort nman..myb nsa nture ko n tlga n i dnt lyk geom..cmula greydskul yn n un ngppbaba ng math ko..hai!..nwei..i rily dnt knw kun pno ko mppkta s prents ko dt i hv det..thnking dt glet cla skn bcoz of wt i did..sbrng klokohn ko nglet cla..bsta!..un n un!..dey dnt trust me enimor..nd dt ws d hrdest part..hai!..my bgsak p ko?!..i jus wanna get lost....



i just wanna die..hiyang-hiya nko..hirap n hirap nko..



lalaban ako..mkikita nyo..


mga taong pilit akong pnpbaba?!..wel..ms my utak nga kyo..ms mgling nga kyo..pro wg nyo ng pmumuka skn n isa qng klhting tanga..klhting bobo..kc hndi totoo.... pro let's jus see....



sori for wt i've written..i thnk it's a jopurnal nman so i cn wryt watever bullshit is in my mind ryt?!.....


sori nlng

Current Mood: pissed off

how should i start now?..anyway..sobrang badtrip tlga ko kgbe..as u can see in my journal, ryt?! bfore i slept ng mga 2 ata..i found out n my clasm8 deejay e aalis n pla..grbe!..sbrng ngulat ako..i'm really surprised wid dt news..ndi ko aklaing aalis xa ng gnun2 lng..hai!..klungkot tlg..kc i hv fun memoroes wid her..hope she'll come back again.. :'c

so eon..wt els pb?!..hmm..ppnta xa dpt dto s haus..as in mtgal ng npguspan..just to find out n hndi nnman tuloi..bdtrip tlg kc i m w8ng for her knina p..sb nya ng mga 10.30..pupunta xa..dn she texted me ng mga 1 pm telng dt mga 3 p xa mkkrting..ngtex ult xa ng 3 jus to say ndi n xa mkkpnta..sbrng bdtrip tlg..kc ngpaasa p..i downloaded my chikka agn pra lng my pantex sknya..sh*t tlga!..tpos mga 3.30pm ngtex sya n nsa fairview plng xa..kya ndi n dw xa mkpnta kc bka mksbai nya un bro ko..tska my gme p cla bkas ng umga..prng db?1..sb nya..kht my gme sya pupunta xa dto..paksh*t tlg!..nd tke note h..rewn ko bt wla nnman xang load..sbrng blis mwln..tngna tlga!..kun hndi ko lng nlman n ngpphnp xa ng iba..ndi ko iicpng s iba nya gngmet lht ng lkad nya pti un load nya..oo alm kong nsa teambldg xa..pro xmpre ders stil the fact n nghhnp xa db?! kya hndi ko n kslnan kun mgiicp p ko ng ibng bgai..dbuh?!..ang akn lng..kun gsto nya tlga ng pgbbgo..cmulan nya..cnisimulan ko n kc un akn e..wud u bliv p kya kun ssbhn nya syong ikw lng?!..pro aftrwrds ssbhn nya lng n ang rason nya kht n my gf xa gsto p rn nya mkmit ng iba..nkkgago db?!..ang sbi ko nlng..alm ko n my kulang skn pro hndi un tmang rason pra mghnp ng iba..kun evrytym e mghhnp xa ng iba..klimutn nlng nya ko....dat's it..gnun lng kdali un pra sknya e..i took her bak..gve another chnce only to find out nghhnp p rn..sh*t tlga!..anothr chnce dw..cge tgnan nlng nten..ang dme ng chnces..n nwaste..nd i think..ds chance...ds wud b d last....pg wla n..wla n tlga..nd i min it!..un dn un sb nya skn e..pg wlang nngyre..wla n tlga..hai!...sh*t tlg tong arw n toh!..sh*t tlga....

Current Mood: pissed off

so, what b mron ngyon?!..uhm..ryt..i was wid her..at frst sbrng wla lng..kulitan..lmbingn nd evrythng..aftr awyl..xmpre ndi llgpas ang arw n hndi ko kklikutin ang tlpono nya db..so eon..i lukd up on the msgs..ofcors..nd xmpre..pti sent items..only to find out some ksinunglingn agn..hainq!..un ang hnding-hndi mtnggl s icp ko ngyon..sbrng hndi tlga..ewn ko..just hppned to be like dat..nwei..ang rison nya is lyk ds....kht my gf n xa di dw nya alm kun bkt gsto p nya mkmit ng iba..pro skn p rn nmn dw xa bmblik kc ako un mhal nya....so wt cn u say?!..skn kc msma un dting..sbra!..ndi ko lng alm..ndi ko n tlga alm..hainko!..

wen i woke up pla..sbrng bdtrip ako s epal nming ktulong..mxado kcng judging n tao..bdtrip..at nung hpon dn..ngksgutn kme ng ktulong nmeng epal s buhai kong mgnda..nang judge nnman xa..she's such a b*tch!..grr!..sna nga umlis n xa ds dcmbr..grr!..i h8 hr..rili!!..

Current Mood: angry

hai grbe!..sya ngyn itong arw n toh..la lng..xmpre mga 12 umlis ako dto..i'm wid my frnd kat2..so ngpnta kme ng rp kc my imimit xa n dteng kulasa..at c traspo..la lng..aftr dat..ngpnta n kme ng sportscntr..ngbdminton..hehe..sbrng npgod nga ako e..wel..bdtrip dn kc..360 un binyad nmen..e ol i know is 100 lng dpt..bt nwei..aftr dt..nilibre ko cla ng fuds..hehe..baet ako e..eon..bfore dat pla..ksma ng frnd ko un bf nya..hehe..nd u..u knw hu u r..24?!..i trust u..algaan mo c meg...

Current Mood: cheerful

hmm..actually..dpat wla ako dto s bhai e..dpt nsa metrocon ako..xmpre..yfc e!..ok n un trnspo..un tcket..lhat ok n ng sbra!..isa lng prblma....hainq!..un nanai ko..pnygn n nya ko bfore..pro overnyt ang alm ko..pro wen i sed n 12am un tpos..xmpre ndi n pmyag at ngddlwang icp..tpos i mde paalm ult knina..ok n sna..den she called ung offcem8 nyang tgaCFC..dpt dun nya ko ibblin..tke note h..mbm un chptr nun..dpt dun ako..as in ssbay pauwe..pgpnta..at sb p nga ni mami n dpt un nlng chptr ko..ryt aftr dt..she askd kun my dia dw b dun....at mron nga!..grr!..ndi agd ako pnygn..hai!...gsto ko n tlgng mging maaus un prblma ng prents ko bout her..gsto ko tnggpn nla c dia..alm kong impocble..i min ndi tlg tnggp..pro db..knyre nlng n as a frnd..ndi nman kc xa nangugulo..cguro kya gnto kc fresh p s utak ni mami un mga tnex ni dia sknya..n sbrng kingalit nya..hai!..gsto ko tlg pmunta dun e..i mde icp nmn kun keln ako ppygn ng mami ko..kc xmpre mdmeng instances tlg n andun dn c dia..prng..pnu nmn ako db?..sb ko nga knina..iba un akn..iba un ky dia..grr!..kainis tlga..as in sh*t!..f*ck tlg tong nanai ko..oo!..naiinis ako sknya..kc she's supr hgpit..minsn tlg naicp ko ng dpt pinaampon nya nlng ako..hainko!..bdtrip!..

nwei..nung 21..thursdei ata un..la lng..i ws wid her..cnmhan ko xa mgenroll s ust..grbe!..bdtrip tlg!..2 hours kme bgo nkrting dun..so eon..pgdting dun..xmpre ndi aq pwd pmsok s loob tlg kya nghntai ako dun s my mrmeng tao..sbrng isng oras ako nghntai dun!..literally h?!..while i was waiting..mdme akong npancn bout s students ng ust..they are just like ordinary students like me..pingkaiba nga lng..cllege cla..hehe..pro cryoso..gnun dn cla..dip insyd nga nttwa ako sknla e..kc u cnt enroll there without wearing your uniform..so eon..un mga nkacvilian..nghhntai ng mga klasmeyts nlang tpos ng mgenroll..nd den..hniram nila un uniform..hehe..tpos klngn kc ng black shoes..so eon..un ibang wlng black shoes tpos nkasandals lng..bumili silang band aid pra kunyre my sugat..kya hndi nkablak shoes..grbe!..dip insyd nttwa tlga ko sknla..kc ang wise nila ng sbra..hehe..bt i cnt imgne myself doing dat in the next 2 years..hehe..wel..let's just see kung saang skul ako mttnggp in the nex two years..sh*t!..cnt wait to grduate ng isko!..i wanna get out of dat bulok skul n e..cmula prep andun n kc aq..hahaha..my loyalty award nko agd..hehe..nwei..

yesterday..wla akong mgwa e..as in totally bored..so i searched on the net pra s mga universities..hainko!..filing fourth yir nko!..hehe..la lng..tntgnan ko lng nmn kun ano requirments ng bwat skul n gsto okong psukn..nwei..choises ko kc e ust..ateneo..up..xmpre!..hndi lht yn kya ko db..kya i tnk hhnp ako ng isa p..gsto ko kc pre-law e..ayoko ng nursing!!..naicp n rn ng mom ko n cguro in the next 10 yrs hndi n in demand ung course n un..kya un..pro tke note h!..she wnts me to tke nursing dte..hainko..sna mkuha ko un gsto ko..la lng..sna s mgndang skul..hehe..

Current Mood: uncomfortable

hehe..nwei..i dunno bt gnyn un mga sbjct ng entry ko..la lng..fil q lng n ilgai yn as a title..hai!..grbe!..exams n bkas..3 sbjcts p..bdtrip tlga..sna mpsa ko lht kht tpong 76 lng ok n..ayoko n mgfail ult!..promse!..sbrng hrap!!..

nwei..she ws wid me knina..sb ko kc turuan nya q e..hndi nmn ako tnuruan..la lng..pro ok lng un noh..eon..kaaalis nga lng nya e..hehe..nwei..i mde klikot of hr fne..so i ws xpctng n wla ng chelo dn..bt den..nkta ko un pix..andun p rn ung chelo..s msgs..i min s foldr n nklgai ay -v-..puro msgs rel8d to chelo..she sed lng khpon n wla ng che..pro luk..kun wla n tlga..bkt andun p rn un mga stuffs rel8d to hr?!..db?!..bt ndi nya kusang burhin..at ako p ngbura..oo sb nya crush lng nya..prng for me..d hell i cre kun crush lng?!..still..mron p rng che!!..tpos pg mguusap kme..nvr a tok wud pas by n hndi nya nbbnggit un nme n un..cnung hndi maiinis db?!..eon..we wer tokng nga kgbi..sbrng gulo ng mood nya..she sed kya nga nya ms gsto c che ngyon dhl.....ndi n nya tnuloi..tke note..sb nya un kgbi..pro mhal dw nya ko..c che..crush lng..ang gulo db?!..she told me p n glet n glet xa ky che..aftr ilng minuto..sb nya hnggng ngyon glet n glet xa skn..hai!..ndi ko maintndhn tlg!..f ul luk p s mga nkpost s bulletin boatrd ng frndstr..u luk nlng..kyo n mgjudge kun anung mssbe nyo..un mga pinost ni dia..hai!..i wnna bliv n mhal nya q kysa ky che..pro pnu?!..m awre n my che p rn xa..pro bkt ms nngingibbw p rn c che kun ako mhl nya?!..bkt gnun?! hai!..bsta ko..im quite hapi..nt complitli h..kc alm kong my filings p xa ky che..oo alm q!..kht wg nyang sbhn..rmdam ko..il b complitli hapi kun alm ko at rmdam kong ako lng tlga....oo tma.....un ako lng tlga....

Current Mood: jealous

la lng..sbrng dmeng nngyre ds wik..as in sbrng dme..bt nwei..di ko n gsto ikwnto lht..eon..dpt ngyong arw n toh im wid my classm8s s group study..e.....nklimutan ko..hehe..di ble..hai!..see the journal prior to dis?..la lng..glet lng tlga ko nun..npg-icp2 ko..kht glet ako at hndi nothng wil hppen nman e..kya cgro..il stop being glet nlng..il go bak s dting mariel?!..huh?..dte kc ndi tlg ko mrunong mglet e..hnggng inis lng..pro dhil nga s mga nngyyre..sbrng nagalet ako..pro try kong mwla ngyon..eon..

we met khpon to tok over sm thngs..bout us dw..eon..as usual..she mde kwento bout chelo..my "ATE"..hehe..nkonsnsya dw sya ni chelo..nwei..blah3..bsta ang alm kong huling cnb nya.."MHAL KITA"..i told her ndi tlg ko mniniwla..xmpre..cnu b nmng mniniwla db..pro..kun totoo man un..slmat!..kun pnloloko nnman..slmat p rn!..ang sbi ko sknya..kelngng ndi ko n xa mhal..ndi dhl gsto ko pro kelngn..sbrng mskit kc e..

Current Mood: refreshed

hellowee s lhat..eon..see the title?..yes..it feels good to fall in love but not all the time..right?..there's this thing na masakit..like pag bumalik syo nd mkes u believe that that person came back just to make ganti or gaguhin u..ngets nyo b?..ge kkwento ko..luk at my entry nung 11th..the next day after dat..she called me up..she said she wants me back..so parang ako..gsto ko dhil mhal ko p xa..pro tkot ako dhil alm kong my mhal xang iba..

Current Mood: pissed off

haha!..that's just a line from a song that gets me crazy..hehehe..yung song na YOUR SONG!..that's what i'm making kinig ngayon..tapos un..burn n!!..haha..baet talaga ng music sken ngyon..hmm..diba prang opposite un gstong prting ng mga knta..un YOUR SONG kc s mga gsto png mgrecon..un BURN nmn..un gsto ng mgbreak..gets??..la lng..shraing..i rmember my classm8 robyn..hehe..she was singing your song knina wen we're going to sr. lieou's

Current Mood: hopeful

this day?!..it's full of disappointment...grabe talaga!..it's sad to know na pag tapos na lahat dun lang malaman ung katotohanan..gets?..i've been with her for about 1 year and 5 months..but thenafter a month na wala kame..ngayon lang lumabas ung totoo..she still loves her first love even nung kame pa..she still loves my enemy..i kow i can't blame her..and she can't blame me too..actually..ako pa nga yung dapat gumanti sa lahat ng things na ginawa nya sakin e..but why should i do that pa?! para saan pa di ba?! mas ok nga yung sinabi nya na lahat e..para i'll know if i'll ocntinue to love her pa or move on..hmm..i guess i just gotta move on....right?..dami pang iba jan..hehe!,,as if?!..how i wish nakinig na lang ako sa friends ko making payo to live the past na..how i wish i can do that...hainko!..c god nlng mmhlin ko..tutal yfc nman ako..

anyway..starting this day i promise to forget her..but...what if she comes back?..hai!..aian nnman ako..i know i'm so tanga..pero bakit nga kaya?..she made me paniwala of many things that are not fuckin' damn true..like she'll tell you that she still loves you..but then iba pala mahal nya..now i've learned my lesson..don't make paniwala agad sa mga sinasabi sayo..that's what i've learned..and i promise hindi na ako magpapaloko..hindi na ako mgpapakamartir..you'll see a new me na..i promise!..hindi na ako un makikita nyong iiyak for a person that made gago to me..starting today..wel..i hope i can do what i've promised..

hmm..well actually..i dunoo who reads sa mga pinaglalagay ko here..i don't care!..i just wanna express what i feel..so walang pakealmanan..diba?..hai!..i wanna go sa miting bukas s yfc..la lng..miss ko na kasi sila..hehe!..astig talaga pag member ka ng yfc..promise!..ewan..nabago nila un way ko ng pgdrsal..promise!!..pero kahit tga-yfc ako..khit bad..i still don't believe sa mga sinasabi nila bout god..la lng..hai..starting today i won't make kulit na to her..hidni na lang ako magpparamdam..CAUSE SHE ALWAYS WANTS ME OUT OF HER LIFE..SHE PUSHES ME AWAY FROM HER..then she'll call me bestfriend?!..yes..i made payag na tawagin pa rin nya akong baby nya nd friends nd bestfriends..pro u knw wat..dat's not how she treats me..she treats me like a trash..pakalat2 na nga di pa rin pinupulot..well..igets nyo na lang..kung di nyo mgets kyo n bhala..nwei...all i can say is..don't make payag na kayo ung last choice ng isnag taong alm nyong ginagamet lang kyo..coz he or she knows na ur ready to take the pain..hmm..that's bad..promise....it hurtsreally..anyway..karma comes fast naman e...hehe..or time lang talaga makakapagsabi...

Current Mood: disappointed